Perspective

There have been a few things lately that I've been really struggling with. Last week an online friend lost her baby at 25 weeks. It's her 3rd loss, but the furthest along. I am so sad for her and for her family. I just can't believe how cruel life can be sometimes. They've been trying for several years and dealing with IF. Then to get so close. It's just not fair.

Yesterday we had some more really bad news. A dear family friend who's been dealing with cancer just found out that the aggressive chemo and radiation, and surgery last week did not eliminate all the cancer from her body. It has spread to her lymph nodes. Apparently, they did the most aggressive treatment and only got 30% of the cancer. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the likelihood of her not being around much longer. She is so young and vital, and she is one of the most beautiful people (inside & out) that I know. It's just unbelievable.

I don't know how to reconcile these situations in my heart. They go against every belief that I have about being a good person and finding meaning in life. I don't even know where to begin. And I guess that I've been here for a while with our IF. But this certainly gives me a little perspective on what I am dealing with. I am holding my family a little closer today. And my heart is just broken.

Share

I make things. At least I dream about making things. Usually that's about as far as it goes. But I've been meaning to share a couple mixed media pieces I made for loved ones this Christmas.

This one is for a family friend that is currently going through chemo and radiation treatments and soon, surgery to remove cancer on her lung. It's very serious and I just keep thinking about how scary that would be. How I would feel and what I would need to hear during such a difficult time. I keep coming back to one thing. Something that I struggle with on a daily basis... Hope. So, this was my gift to her. Hoping that it would comfort her just a little.



And this one I made for my Momma just because she's cute. :)



Hope you all have a lovely weekend. We are off to our foster parent class tomorrow. I'll give you a little more details on how all that is going, maybe next week.

Hi

How are you? I'm good thanks. :)

I've been busy with all kinds of things lately. Trying to keep my mind off of which cycle day it is (CD 8 if you were curious). We are remodeling a bathroom right now and I'm in the process of picking tile, fixtures, etc. I am terrible at this. There are just too many choices. We spent all day on Saturday looking at tile for the shower and I couldn't make up my mind. We already have the floor tile. We used it in our kitchen previously. The house was built in 1952, and in keeping with the era I was kind of thinking white subway tiles. What do you think? If you have any examples of tile showers that you love, please send them my way!

Then on Sunday morning our car stopped running. Dave had to replace the power steering pump. We ended up not being able to get all the parts we needed in town and had to order one of them. So, we were out of a car until last night. I'm so happy that my husband is uber-capable. It's reassuring to know that he can handle whatever comes our way.

Now we are just waiting for this weekend when we finish up our last two PRIDE Pre-Service classes for foster care. I have yet to really get started on the mountain of paperwork involved. It's pretty daunting. We still have a little time though. There is one more class we have to take for CPR/First-Aid. Then things like TB tests, fingerprinting and that paperwork. One step at a time!

I'm heading into the RE's office on Monday for my follicle check. Hoping for some good news. This cycle is going by pretty fast, for which I am grateful. Probably because we are so busy.

Crazy life

I've been meaning to post for a few days and let you know how things are going, but some things came up. We are flying back to Arizona tomorrow. My Mother-in-Law passed away on Friday morning. It was not totally unexpected because of her health, but happened a lot faster than anyone thought it would. Fortunately we were just there a week ago and were able to spend a good amount of time with her and let her know that we love her and hold good thoughts for her. She will be missed.



We decided to continue with our IUI since we were so close and then fly down for the memorial service this week. Our 2nd u/s was on Saturday morning. The sonographer told us that we had 1 follicle at 17.5. We're not sure what happened to the 2nd one, but one is better than none! Their typical protocol is to wait until it's at 18-20 and said we should come back on Monday for 3rd u/s and probably IUI on Tuesday. We told her about our situation and that we needed to fly down to Arizona on Monday or Tuesday and she told us to wait in the waiting room and she would talk to the doctor to see if there was anything they could do. The doctor said that we should go ahead and trigger. I was concerned about the egg being immature, but the sonographer said that they actually consider them mature at 15, but use 20 as a conservative guideline. I'm hoping that was the right call. They gave me a trigger shot and scheduled an appointment for the next morning (this morning).

The IUI went really well. DH's count was well above the minimum (yay!) and I had good CM. We are hopeful that it will have a good outcome despite the stress and schedule we are under.

Now, I need to go pack so we can get on a plane tomorrow morning!

Goodbye and Hello

I can't say that I'm sad to say goodbye to 2008. It's been a hell of a year. After many months of thinking I would end the year the same way it began - in limbo, I am so relieved to be moving forward. Many disappointments this year, mostly relating to infertility. But there have been many good things too. I am married to the most wonderful person I have ever known. In November our country made a choice to believe in hope and change and in itself. I am comforted by the many connections I've made in blogland.

I have hope. And that is the best gift I can think of. Bring it on 2009. We are so ready.

Happy New Year! Thank goodness for new days, new years, and new chances.

Happy Holidays

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas or Happy (belated) Hanukkah. For all the girls that are TTC, I am hopeful that we will all find our babies this year. I'll be toasting to that tomorrow.

Peace and Love.

Happy anniversay

My sweet husband,

This past year has taught me so much about who you are, and who we are together. In many, many ways it has been the best year of my life. Of course, we have had our struggles, but I am confident that we will get through them all and we will do it together. I am comforted by your strength, your care and your enduring support.

On this day, our first anniversary, I would like to tell you just a few of the ways you make me feel special.

You value my opinions and ideas.
You share your thoughts with me.
You care what the house looks like.
You like to have a beer and a burger with me.
You are always willing to help.
You rub my shoulders when they hurt.
You take on (more than) your share of the chores.
You want what I want.
You smile when you see me.
You really, truly see me.
You like my cooking.
Even when you don’t agree with me, you try to understand what I feel.
You are willing to go through all of this crap so that we can have a family.
You are strong and calm when I am not.
You listen when I just need to get it out.
You love the dogs.
You fix things.
You support my effort to live a more creative life.
You are always there when I need you. Always.
You get mad at yourself when you leave your wedding ring at home.
You put up with my indecisiveness about where to eat.
You spend time with me.

Yeah, you are pretty much the best husband in the world. I am such a lucky girl.

I love you so, so, so much. Forever and ever.

Someone loves me!

I was awarded by the lovely Evergreen Baby (thank you!)

I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers:

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? strong
5. Your father? capable
6. Your favorite thing? dogs
7. Your dream last night? strange
8. Your dream/goal? to paint
9. The room you're in? office (at work)
10. Your hobby? scrapbooking
11. Your fear? infertility
12. Where do you want to be in six years? at home with my children
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? fearless
15. One of your wish list items? new vacuum
16. Where you grew up? Olympia, WA
17. The last thing you did? read blogs :)
18. What are you wearing? work clothes
19. Your T.V.? unplugged
20. Your pets? snuggly
21. Your computer? well used
22. Your mood? hopeful
23. Missing someone? my momma
24. Your car? does the job
25. Something you're not wearing? sombraro
26. Favorite store? Etsy (online)
27. Your Summer? fast
28. Love someone? David
29. Your favorite color? cerulean blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday afternoon
31. Last time you cried? Thursday (see last post!)

I'm not sure how you get one word on some of those, but I tried! I'd like to pass on the love to:

http://infertilityonthebrain.blogspot.com/
http://missywatts.typepad.com/good_life/
http://pessimisticbitch-mamahansen.blogspot.com/
http://infertilityexperience.blogspot.com/
http://shellypaints.blogspot.com/
http://womb4improvement.blogspot.com/

new curtains + a gift

I wanted to have some pretty curtains for our new workroom since we'll be spending a lot of time in there. Once I saw this Amy Butler fabric, I knew it was the one! The blue almost matches our walls, and this is my current color combination obsession. Here's the first set - I still have one window to go.



______________________________________________________

My father-in-law sent me the sweetest gift this week (along with the sweetest note). It's a child's place setting! I think it must have been David's or one of his siblings. He sent it for our future (hopefully not too distant) children. He has been so kind to me, I am blessed to have in-laws that I truly adore. Lucky girl.

color

look at that color!, originally uploaded by eklektic*photos.

Look what my sweet husband sent me for our 8 month anniversary. He's a keeper! :)

Can you believe that orange? They are beautiful and they smell so lovely. Thanks, honey!

Date night, farewell and other random stuff

Tonight we are heading up to Seattle to see the Fratellis. This is a long overdue date…We had tickets to see them over a year ago and they cancelled at the last minute. At the time, they weren’t the headliners, so we couldn’t get a refund on our ticket. It turned out that we really enjoyed the two other bands that we saw that night – BRMC & the Black Angels. But the Fratellis are the first band that Dave and I found together. We are lucky to have similar music taste! So, this is kind of a special concert for us. It will be a long night as the concert doesn’t start until 9pm (and we have to work tomorrow), but we are really looking forward to it!

Our good friends, Doug & Shelly (and baby Harper) have moved out of town. I drove the girls to the airport on Tuesday morning – Doug had left a few weeks earlier to start work. We miss you already! Things just won’t be the same around here without them. But we wish lots of luck and happiness in their new home. We have been very fortunate to get to know them and be part of the journey to and the birth of their sweet girl. Thank you, Shelly, for sharing so much of yourself. Love you!

Anyway…trying not to be too sappy. :)

In other news, I may have located a place in Olympia that does letterpress workshops and you can rent time on their machines. I just sent off an email to see if they are still doing that and find out how I can participate. That would be SO AWESOME. I’ll keep you posted.

We’ll be spending most of the weekend finishing up the LAST ROOM IN THE REMODEL. Yes, you heard me. I can hardly contain my excitement! We’re trying to wrap it up before Dave’s Dad comes to visit in a couple weeks. Really looking forward to seeing him (I adore him!) and showing him all the work we’ve done since he was up last. Plus when we get that room done, we can set the office up, which includes all my craft stuff. Very cool. Maybe I’ll actually get to make stuff pretty soon!

So thankful that scooter weather is finally upon us. Yay summer!
Love.

6 months

hike, originally uploaded by eklektic*photos.

We celebrated our 6 month anniversary on Friday by going for our first hike. Armed with new hiking boots, lots of water and a picnic lunch, we headed up to Lower Lena Lake in the Olympic National Forest. It was a gorgeous day. We hiked in about 3.5 miles or so, spread out on top of a rock overlooking the ravine and the mountain beyond. There were only a few other people out that day, so we ate our lunch surround by so much beauty and the sounds of nature. It was a much needed escape.

We spent the rest of the weekend working on the house, sprinkled with a little play, a barbecue, and some movie watching. The weather could not have been any better. Sunshine, we are SO happy to see you!

365/81

365/81, originally uploaded by eklektic*photos.

This was from Saturday night. We went to a wedding on Saturday for one of Dave's childhood friends. I got to meet almost everyone from his group of friends, and he reconnected with people he hasn't seen in 20 years. We all went out after the reception for drinks. They were all really neat people & we had the best time!

Things are coming along on the kitchen. We had a few issues with plumbing, but it's all coming together. I believe this weekend will be the magic kitchen move weekend. It's like a dream. :)

Things are good. I hope the same for you.
Love.

For David

I love you, honey. Thanks for the Valentine's gift and the French toast breakfast. You are the best. Ever.

Morning ritual

365/33, originally uploaded by eklektic*photos.

I don't usually like to brag, but I have the best husband in the world. Seriously.

One of the things we have been doing on the weekends is having coffee in bed before we get up and get going (usually on house remodel projects). This may not sound like much, but it involves one of us (Dave) getting up, taking the dogs over to the other house (where the kitchen currently lives), letting the dogs out, feeding them, making coffee and then carrying the cups back to me (waiting in bed).

I'm the luckiest girl in the world. (Love you, honey. You are the best.)(And thank you, Shelly for the coffee mugs!)

For this, I am thankful...

Kiss, originally uploaded by eklektic*photos.

Happy Thanksgiving :)

:)

:), originally uploaded by eklektic*photos.

Oh, Frankie. You make me smile.

happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, baby. You are the greatest.

Meet*Stella

Meet*Stella, originally uploaded by creative*girl.

I've been wanting this baby for a LONG time. What a great time of year to get her too. I've been having the greatest time scootin' around town, the wind in my hair (well, sort of).
Love.