Monday, January 19, 2009

On the Eve

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

How appropriate is it that on the Eve of Barack Obama's inaugaration, we are celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day? I love it. I love that today is Bush's last day. I love that tomorrow is a day I've been waiting for. I love that there is hope.

How totally unfair is that on the Eve of such a great day I am waiting on this cycle to come to an end? So unfair. All the hope I feel for my Country is tempered by my total lack of hope in my ability to get pregnant. I was pretty sure that this cycle wouldn't work. Right up until last Friday. Then my body totally started fucking with me and I thought, well..maybe. I waited until Saturday night and finally broke down and tested. BFN. I don't know why I let myself start to believe. It just makes it so much harder.

So, now I'm waiting to start another cycle. It should be any time now. Probably on to IUI #2.

After testing on Saturday night (and Sunday morning) it was really hard to sit through the second day of Pre-Service training (Foster Parent class). The class was really good though. We learned A LOT. Looking forward to finishing it up in another 2 weeks. Time to get to work on that application!

Well, I am off work today. Dave had to go in, so I'm trying to get some things done around the house. We haven't been home much lately and there's a lot to catch up on. Hopefully things are starting to calm down a little. It would be nice to have a less stressful cycle next time.


  1. Lea-I'm so sorry to hear about your negatives. So unfair. I do hope better (much better) times are ahead for you. Big hugs.

  2. Damn that BFN!! I hate when you start to believe, and then have your hopes dashed. Definitely much worse :( Hope #2 is up and running soon xx

  3. Lea, so sorry about your BFN. Don't kick hope to the curb just yet.

    If we all lost hope, none of us would have gone out in droves to vote for PRESIDENT OBAMA.

    I say, let's dive into the deep end of the HOPE POOL! Maybe we can bolster each other w/ that next cycle.

    Remember how delicious that burst of hope feels right as you embark on the 2ww?!?!?!

    Keep the faith.

  4. Oh no. Sorry to hear that. Don't loose the hope. I think we all know what change we need.

  5. I hope it's not only going to be a new era for the United States of America, but for the rest of us too.

    Optimistic times are ahead...