Progress!

We had our first home study visit yesterday.

We cleaned and cleaned on Sunday to prepare, knowing that they aren't going to do the white glove test, but I just couldn't relax with the house not in order. So, we did some organizing, dusting and cleaning. It looked great!

The visit went really well. We both liked the adoption social worker, and I felt that she liked us too (yay!). And that is really good, because she is the one that helps match us with a child. We spent about 2 hours with her on this visit. She went over the process from here on out, asked us some very personal questions about past relationships, why we want an infant (instead of an older child) and how we would feel about parenting an adopted child vs. biological child.

There will be 3 more visits in the next 3-4 weeks, and then we'll be licensed! It's looking like we'll be done around the middle to end of October.

So far...

When we decided to pursue foster to adopt at the end of November, I called and requested the application packet and we attended an info session to find out more about the process and requirements.

The packet is pretty intense and we are still trying to get organized with that. It’s a bit overwhelming. We have to complete a really long personal history form with lots of questions about how we were raised and our plans on raising children. This is what I am most struggling with. When you give birth to a child you don’t have to articulate all of your rules, how you will discipline, what values you plan to instill in them, etc. And especially not months before they are even born! And since we don’t already have children, it is very challenging to imagine how we will handle some things down the road.

Some other things that are required include a background check with finger printing, a TB test, fire evacuation plan and financial review. We had to take a 30 hour class, called PRIDE Pre-Service training and a CPR/First Aid class. Once all that is complete we can turn in our paperwork, which must be turned in all at once. I think we are still a couple months away from having that ready to go.

After the paperwork is complete they will do a home study where a licensure comes out to make sure we are in compliance with all the minimum requirements. These can vary depending on what age group we wanted to be licensed for. We are interested in infants, but would be willing to take a sibling up to 2 years old as well.

The class we just finished was the Pre-Service training. It is an intense 30 hour class that we took over 2 weekends. Our instructor was fabulous. He was a social worker for DCF prior to becoming a trainer. His knowledge on the system and the psychology of children that have abuse/neglect backgrounds was incredible. I could have listed to him for weeks. I’m hoping to take more classes with him in the future.

They covered a broad range of topics like anger/pain, grief, discipline, attachment, sexual abuse as well as prepared us for visitations and having relationships with birth parents. A lot of what was talked about in relation to behavior was invaluable and I couldn’t help but think that all parents should take a class like this. I could see on the faces of our classmates with children that they wished they had learned some of these things while their kids were young. So, I feel fortunate to have had this experience. I think it will help us if we are able to have bio-children too.

The thing that has most impressed me about this process so far is the amount of support in the foster-parent community. I always expected them to just through us to the wolves and we’d be on our own. But that’s really not the case. They encourage you to make friends with other foster-parents and have support groups that meet on a regular basis. They provide respite care to all foster-parents so they can take time off. And there are organizations that provide support in various forms. A very unique community and we are really looking forward to being a part of it.

Hi

How are you? I'm good thanks. :)

I've been busy with all kinds of things lately. Trying to keep my mind off of which cycle day it is (CD 8 if you were curious). We are remodeling a bathroom right now and I'm in the process of picking tile, fixtures, etc. I am terrible at this. There are just too many choices. We spent all day on Saturday looking at tile for the shower and I couldn't make up my mind. We already have the floor tile. We used it in our kitchen previously. The house was built in 1952, and in keeping with the era I was kind of thinking white subway tiles. What do you think? If you have any examples of tile showers that you love, please send them my way!

Then on Sunday morning our car stopped running. Dave had to replace the power steering pump. We ended up not being able to get all the parts we needed in town and had to order one of them. So, we were out of a car until last night. I'm so happy that my husband is uber-capable. It's reassuring to know that he can handle whatever comes our way.

Now we are just waiting for this weekend when we finish up our last two PRIDE Pre-Service classes for foster care. I have yet to really get started on the mountain of paperwork involved. It's pretty daunting. We still have a little time though. There is one more class we have to take for CPR/First-Aid. Then things like TB tests, fingerprinting and that paperwork. One step at a time!

I'm heading into the RE's office on Monday for my follicle check. Hoping for some good news. This cycle is going by pretty fast, for which I am grateful. Probably because we are so busy.

On the Eve

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

How appropriate is it that on the Eve of Barack Obama's inaugaration, we are celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day? I love it. I love that today is Bush's last day. I love that tomorrow is a day I've been waiting for. I love that there is hope.

How totally unfair is that on the Eve of such a great day I am waiting on this cycle to come to an end? So unfair. All the hope I feel for my Country is tempered by my total lack of hope in my ability to get pregnant. I was pretty sure that this cycle wouldn't work. Right up until last Friday. Then my body totally started fucking with me and I thought, well..maybe. I waited until Saturday night and finally broke down and tested. BFN. I don't know why I let myself start to believe. It just makes it so much harder.

So, now I'm waiting to start another cycle. It should be any time now. Probably on to IUI #2.

After testing on Saturday night (and Sunday morning) it was really hard to sit through the second day of Pre-Service training (Foster Parent class). The class was really good though. We learned A LOT. Looking forward to finishing it up in another 2 weeks. Time to get to work on that application!

Well, I am off work today. Dave had to go in, so I'm trying to get some things done around the house. We haven't been home much lately and there's a lot to catch up on. Hopefully things are starting to calm down a little. It would be nice to have a less stressful cycle next time.

Big day

Tomorrow is the big day. Surgery is in the afternoon and I can't eat anything after midnight tonight. I can't even have water! It's going to be a long morning. I'm looking forward to getting it over with. I've been running through the possible outcomes and most of them aren't too bad, but you never know what they are going to find in there. Definately nervous about the unknown.

Not sure how coherent I will be, but I will try to post something on Saturday with (some of) the details.

Tonight we are off to our adoption info session! We got our home study packet in the mail yesterday and I've already read through the whole thing. We'll start filling it out this weekend. :) We've had really positive feedback from all the family and friends we've shared this with so far. I appreciate everyone's support and good thoughts.

Well, see you in a few days less one tube and a fibroid!

New plan

It's amazing how fast things change. On our way home from my Mom’s house after Thanksgiving, (we had a good 5 hours in the car) Dave and I had a long talk about this whole infertility experience and whether or not we want to continue with ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) after my surgery. It’s pretty daunting to think about spending thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars to get pregnant and then have the possibility of failure. This led us to the next step… adoption.

I’ve long thought about adopting. Even if we were able to have biological children (which we still hope to), I believe adoption would be a wonderful thing to do. So, we’ve decided to foster-adopt! I’m so excited about it, and for the first time in quite a while, I have hope.

There is a lot to do before we get qualified, but the process is started. I made the call on Monday to our local DSHS. I was pretty nervous – my hands were shaking. I talked to a social worker and found out about an info class this week! We are going to that tomorrow night, we are already signed up for the required 30 hour class, and our home study paperwork should be in the mail today! After having been in the eternal wait of TTC (trying to conceive), this feels like progress.

I am still having surgery on Friday. After the recovery time, we will continue TTC. I can’t give up on the idea of being pregnant. It’s something I’ve always wanted to experience. I hope that we will be able to experience both.

Hope!